though this is my first time buying so many things for makeup.. but its still good investment =) for future usage. indeed "what you sow is what you reap" without sowing, how are you going to reap?

though this phrase is mentioned in bible.. but isnt it happening in every aspect of our lives? just like our working life? relationship life? entertainment life? family life? friendship? etc.. without spending time or finance on it..

also.. i need to really save and plan out my finance.. no more splurge of money too much.. though just now went to far east after a very simple celebration for claire's bday in advance.. and went to shop for clothes.. and those black top @ honey & bee caught my eyes.. it cos $32.90.. i wanted to buy but didnt buy in the end..=( .. thou its like only event for night life then can wear.. lolx.. find it so weird if i wear it to church. lolx. i took pic.. but looked so fat! oh man~ but i love the design of the back! keke~ shyz lolx
also a tube dress.. kinda (er.. cant see clearly from here..) but because too long.. i wanna more shorter and slanted. keke~.. its more or less than for the d & d kinda dress i aim. keke~wah i really need to slim down! and i guess CNY i wont be eating much le~ jia you! sylvia u can slim down within 2 wks de! then u can wear nice nice. lolx. haha~ psykoing myself. lol. haha~

but the trip to far east really tempted me to go for shopping for bag, the kinda tops mentioned above, jap socks and hand kinda socks dunno call wat.. (think i will buy it at msia) to match with my new shirt/half skirt. will look very kid and jap jap if i match with the socks and the hand thingy~ keke (another set of look i can try out.. when i am still young. Keke)


also .. just now was asking my mum if i should take leave.. on friday.. so i will go back on thur night after svc...i was lost to take leave or not.. initially i have planned ardy.. but i wanna ask my mum.. if she say take, i sure take.. but firstly she said up to me.. (oh man.. i just need a yes or no lo.. i dun wan the word 'up to u'.. i just need an answer.. i am lost argh~ ) then i also asked her what if i go home? i also got nth to do.. then she suggested me to go to her workplace.. the tuition center of her pst's wife to help.. then that.. convinced me to take leave and go there too.. if not.. i will be confused again! and i dun like the feeling of deciding to this or not.. or whatever decision..

sometimes.. i just need some leadings.. or help me to decide.. though i know at times.. decision is always up to my ownself..but.. ai ya.. anyway these kinda of things is never ending.. =)

at least this thing has put my mind down =) so tmr will tell my boss that i am taking leave on fri..which also meant that i need to finish all my job by thurs..suddenly thought of work tmr.. then i stress le.. argh~haiz..


another thing that was troubling me was.. which also led by my bank a/c balance ba... that is.. should i study this yr? or next yr?... did i make the right choice to study Communication Studies? i havent earn enough.. for fees.. (knowing money is never enough) i know its kinda personal to mention about finances of mine here.. i dun need any help but just wanna rant it here... *sometimes.. i just wonder.. am i writing blog to ple out there to read or for myself.. but most of it is for me ba.. but i dun mind ple knowing.. because.. there's nth to hide.. though..

anyway.. i know there's always a way.. that made me think of God...and cried alot just now or even during writing this blog..and its that kinda of cry that ...dunno how to say? when i thought back.. when was the last time i cried b4 Him?.. Have i been just convincing myself or just deceiving? ...

so i was just wondering.. so.. should i cont studying? many questions just appeared in my mind.. that there's so many answers to that.. that i would get so frustrated to just answer it.. mayb avoiding it is the best answer? i know its not.. but its good to avoid but just rmb to face it back.. because if the problem u avoiding is not solved.. it will never be solved.. it will still come back.. unless u face it and deal with it.. then more problems will still be faced.. isnt that life? am i sounding more like an old lady? but truely speaking.. isnt it? we still cant run away from the realistic life that we are living?

(haha.. sometimes.. i was just wondering... i am just a soon turning 21 gal.. yet.. i seem to be much more matured? (i am not being proud or hao lian..) but...that's that.. haha~ i think because ... deut 29:29 ba.. lolx who noes?)

i dun have any answer to that yet.. but waiting for Him to tell me...longing.. but i will still write the short essay that i need to submit during the application to NTU.. i havent apply yet.. but i will write.. think next wk.. or end of this wk i will send ....hope so =)..cos last day is 21st feb..

and one thing is.. if those whoever has my blog add.... dun think u can just noe me thru here.. i just hate ple thought they know tat much just by reading.. if wanna noe just asked me.. but if i dun wan to say.. u still cant force me.. unless i am willing to share with u.. also.. unless u really noe me.. then u will understand.. (to those i told even more) or u might also say.. if i dun say.. how can u all understand? am i right? haha~ whatever answers to whatever questions are all in my mind.. (or i am just protecting myself? or i mind alot abt ple's view? i dunno..i might know? might not know? ) =) no offences.. your mouth is your mouth.. i cant stop u.. not sayin that u all will say or whatever.. or badmouth abt u all.. i just giving an illustration.. not tat i dun love ya guys...if u all mistaken.. i also have nth to say..

thoughts..will i hide myself up? cos just felt like just live in the world of music.. but i kept on telling myself.. i cant.. because i still have a vision and desire that i am holding on now.. i know it isnt going to be easy.. esp out there.. ever since i step out the working life.. and more of the entertainment life..though not the real one.. but sort of similar.. His trust in me.. i shall not forget.. since He has sent me out, and He has spoken to me..that i asked and cried out for it.. His words shall never fade..

people around me.. might think i am going for fame.. but i want to do and multiply my talents that He has given me.. but at times.. why i just felt that whenever i wanna share more of the things i been thru.. just seems so empty to them? sometimes its just kinda hard felt..

i still rmb.. last time i first stepped out in faith to share the testimony of the artiste sch that i etc..... i felt the testimony was just.. bounced back with emptiness.. but i wanna say that i never regret saying that because..i really want to thank Him. =)


okok.. enuff abt this.. i have talked too much about that.. if i were to continue.. it will never ending.. but i never regret having this life that i am living now.. because knowing that every step or decision i view or deal with it.. its a step closer to Him..that is the ultimate purpose....not only that.. but seeing myself grow.. and ple seeing me grow.. i know at times i may be very irresponsible... i know..that.. but smth just let me be? that i might just come back b4 knowing?

haha~ guess some of you who are reading will get confused ba.. lolx haha~


now is 1.19am... i am yet tired.. though i was tired when i was out.. but just dun feel like slping.. and still thinking ...writing...


anyway back to the events of today.. keke~

er.. today i went for my 2nd and 3rd (didnt expect to see my 1st classmates! keke and joined them) class.. of BHI lesson.. the 'modeling' lesson...

for the 2nd lesson .. it was from 1 to 2pm.. that class was so stress.. because claudia.. the teacher of that lesson.. was so strict in teaching us how to walk.. pose.. turns. etc... everyone in the room was so stress including me.. but one thing i wanna say! er.. first.. i am not hao lian.. but claudia.. praised that i did the best in walking and turnings.. posing on cat walks! that kinda shocked me!! haha that she even asked me to teach one of the classmates who was rather weak.. wah! Praise God for that! i didnt even think that she can trust me.. and even said that i am a good 'teacher' and that she wont have the patience to teach.. lolx

but i was just wondering... why am i able to do it so fluently? lolx.. or i just happened to know how? because.. at times.. i dunno how to skate or cat walking.. but i tell myself that i am a model! or skater! or singer or watever! and be like one! and i just able to do it! so i aint no talented or gifted but.. its all within the mentality!

as long as u can think of it, u can do it! all these words is not empty! but of substance! nth can pull u down!

haha but one thing claudia said was.. why world isnt fair? haha sylvia.. too bad u are short.. you walked the best! haha.. world is always fair! haha..lolx


as for the 3rd lesson! it wasnt taught by claudia but trish, a sweet lady, nt as fierce as claudia. lolx. haha didnt expect i can continue.. lolx. that made my lesson end faster. lolx.. so still got 2 more lesson.. after CNY that lesson.. which also means i will miss my 1st classmates.. keke~~ so glad to see them agaiN! keke~ on this lesson we learnt the steps of how to put proper make up.. wah! its was complicated and detailed! lolx. i never be so detailed on makeups especially!!!! haha

but then i thought back.. actually all these things that i joined or go for it.. will assist me in future =) keke~


so after the lessons.. i met up with mike, claire and soojia for dinner..@ pepper lunch! food was nice! haha it was my very FIRST time going there to eat! haha so sua ku..keke~ *paiseh. lolxoppx actually wanna take the pic b4 mixed.. kekeyum yum~ tempted?haha i brought back the chopstick.. lolxalso went to walk walk cos soojia wanna shop for her fren bday present.. and i saw this BIG DOREMON! haha then we went to coffeebean.. cos our feets were killing us.. lolx. Psst! actually this sort of lunch and dinner is a small advance bday celebration for claire.. lolx.. this was supposed soojia cake to eat, but its actually for claire.. paiseh.. didnt know u dun like cranberry. keke then when we counted 1,2,3 we sang bday song to her~ her face was like total shockedness! lolx haha worst still the person siting beside her wished her happy bday! haha~ so cute!

i order cappucinno double (gei kiang) thought i can hold on the bitterness. but i cant.. lousy me.. that in the end i added sugar syrup...(that i didnt know there was one.. lol. claire more pro than me.. paiseh.. so sua ku.. ) haha

another thing! haha got video to watch! on saturday we had our last lesson @ E.A.I.. its our last try before our exam..which will be on 24th feb..also weiting's bday.. thought of planning to do smth.. and tell the other producers to help here and there.. but yet to plan.. keke~

on the exam date there will be all 12 producers there to judge!!!! wah stress!! haha i will always gan jiong till the very end de! lolx

and dennis told me that my 2 yr contract lesson gonna start soon after my exam! cant wait! heehee~ and he also tell me "DIET" hor! haha my reply was..'ya la, ya la..' haha

anyway...ooh ya! actually i have suggested to have a ktv session tmr.. at orchard for 4 of us.. that we can help and practice the song too.. for the exam.. but because the bank balance thingy.. i cancelled it.. i felt so bad.. it happened again.. sorry guys...

i think dun talk much.. let ya guys see the video taken during the 1st take.. haha.. not that good.. but tat day every one's performance was bad.. lolx.. but great try guys! enjoy! oh ya! mine isnt up.. now waitin for weiting to send me.. then i can let ya guys see..

Jason


Stella


Weiting




some other external things.. haha these were the pics taken like.. almost 9mths back.. during my team C outing.. finally got the pics.. that the groupmates thought that i was from taiwan that i was so active! haha can see by the pics.. lolx


u all noe what?!? my church so cute.. lolx they gave us detergent and scruber this wk..wanna us 'guai guai' do spring cleaning at home! haha so cute rite?!? lol


oh yea! haha next time sundays i got ple to find go out le! haha uhm ehm.. u noe who u r hor.. haha... lolx xp my 'cleaner' lolx hahah bleah!




Why hold back your tears? when was the last time you cried?

Holding on...the promise.. the trust..the faithfulness..

Your mercy has always been there


"as what You have said, I shall take care of Yours,
and I shall wait patiently for You to take care of mine.."