who will be the one...

Sunday, January 21, 2007

this post took me hours.. lolx. its written while waitin for my show to be loaded.. lol

yesterday i was supposed to go back msia.. but because my mum have dinner so i also dun wanna spoil her dinner and rush to fetch me at msia custom.. so in the end i am goin to spend my day today in sg... still thinking wat to do... argh~ my sun always got nth if i am in singapore.. haha even in msia also the same.. all i do in msia is eat and slp. lolx. but if in singapore, i dun wish to stay at home!! cos i dun like to lock myself in the room when the ah gong's relative come and visit him, then in the end i didnt dare to go out at all.. sianz...

also, yesterday finally sang that 2 songs that i have chosen.. though its kinda stress that i was like lost of speech, and in the end felix said that that wasnt me speaking, you off topic, jus relax, TRY AGAIN! indeed

"people ard you give you chances to try, but its always you yourself dont give yaself a chance to try!"

so i kept on trying and trying.. though i aint gd at it.. but kinda tough man.. then i sang the song "tian shi zan shi li kai"... felix's comment.. you dun hve variation in the song! (Oh man! its not his first time telling me that already) and this time round i asked him what do he meant by variation and he asked me to sing without music.. and i understand ardy~ a little la.. but still need to practice alot and put in more feel~ oh yea, he said the feel is there but need more variation. if i were to nod and say orh i know.. and didnt ask him wat he really wants.. then its not helping myself at all! so sometimes i just felt tat we should asked for further clarification when you are not so sure, never get yourself in doubt!

anyway.. i think he was kinda upset that i didnt prepare the song well as i forget the lyrics! told ya! i not good at memorising!!! then he was kinda angry too that he said i gave you 2 weeks to prepare.. i was like.. orh.. cos its also my part that no matter how many times i listen to the song BUT WITHOUT SINGING it out, its NO USE AT ALL! but i have no other place to sing it out, i cant be singing in my room where ah gong is always at home.. i wanna find a place.. mayb open space but not too near neighbourhood.. but i dun wanna sing alone there la. otherwise ple will send me to IMH. lolx. but will see then la..

so now.. i need to change the fast song...i thinking of changing from Vivian Hsu Ru Xuan - Jue Ding Ai Ni -- to --> Evonne Xu Hui Xin - Gu Dan Ba Lei (another tough round for me to memorise!) argh! and i have another week to practice and memorise AGAIN!

oh yea~ this time round my class attendance is again 3! got stella, weiting and me...sad sad seh~

anyway i left class early yesterday as i need to rush off for an appointment with BHI..and while waiting for the bus.. dunno why i cried.. maybe because i cant reached the standard of what felix expected of me? i know i aint good in singing, i know my standard isnt good at all... but also am i stressing myself too much? or i have high expection of myself?

i always wanted to be different, and i guess you all also wanna be.. but if ya wanna be different, u need to put in EXTRA HARDWORK than any other people.. at times i feel tired.. and wanted to rest.. but just by resting a while.. it will be quite some time for me to catch up with the time that has flew past so fast ahead me. at times i am so stirred up to keep on running and put in extra effort BUT why i am always like.. half way and half done kinda person?! just hate myself for being like that!

i want to do it to prove it to others? or myself? i am so afraid that i cant reached people's expectation of me.. i am trying hard.. or i am not trying as hard? living up to other people's expectation is hard BUT living up to OWN's Expectation is MUCH HARDER!

today the whole day at home watching 'dou yu' made me thought alot of things..

Are you happy with your life?

Are you finding more meaning in your life?

Is your life just like any others?

anyway...BHI is sort of a modeling/training sch for ple to be trained in how to pose, walk etc... and in the end they will give us a cert and we are able to do freelancing also. and they will sponsor the course but need to complete 5 wks lessons in 8 wks time. and i'm gonna start the course next wk. anyway the only amount to fork out is $350 to $550 for personal makeup set which is given based on our own skin quality.

i was thinking.. might as well given the time that i have now.. rather free.. why not give it a try, though i may not be tall enough to be a model or wateva... but since i am still young, why reject this chance or try being given to me? Do watever you always wanted to try now, until when is your 'next time'?

"when will be my time?"

oh yea.. its also my 2nd time going to there.. the last time which was the 1st time too.. was like a yr ago ba.. i was kinda shocked that after such a long time they still have my contact... and also in the midst create talents also contact me.. but i didnt answer..cos i dun like their attitude when they asked on the phone1! argh~ haha..

haha also one thing very funny was when i went to the interview at BHI, the interviewer, gabrielle, kept on talkin none stop that she gave no chance for me to talk. lol. though i know what they all doing.. lolx. but very funny~ she talked very fast.. good communication skills man~ keke.

anyway, yesterday also i received a sms from my choir ic, jocelyn, that to meet annabel, our worship leader, and felicia, backup vocalist, after service..i was like wondering why they wanna meet us? after service, i saw some of my choir friends were waiting outside the artiste room too.. and we waited for quite some time.. but all of us dont know whats going on too..

then finally feli came and told us that they wanted to audition us based on our vocal and ability to sing parts. but the actual details they didnt say to us.. so still dunno what are they up to. lolx

oh yea.. yesterday when i was about to reach my block, i lifted my head up high and saw the sky in the night was so PRETTY! and nice! i never thought that i could see this kinda of night in singapore.. because usually i could see the sky with many stars in malaysia.. back in my old place.. kinda miss that place..

now again..waitin for another series of epsoide of 'dou yu' to be loaded in youtube..

Since 7 plus am till now i have been watchin a taiwan drama, Dou Yu also called The Outsiders, on youtube. and i noticed that previously i shared with you guys the song "Till the end - David Tan" is the OST of Dou Yu. also found another nice song.. "Breathe Again - Juwita Suwito" keke~ if wanna the song then ask me. =)

here it goes of the song...

Breathe Again - Juwita Suwito

Have you wondered how it feels when it's all over?
Wondered how it feels when you just have to start anew?
Never knowing where you're going
When you face a brand new day
It used to be that way
Now I just close my eyes and say

I just want to breathe again, learn to face the joy and pain
Discover how to laugh a little, cry a little, live a little more
I just wanna face the day, forget about the woes of yesterday
Maybe if I hope a little, try a little more
I’ll breathe again

Starting out again is never easy
Disappointments come and go but life still moves on
With a bit of luck
It’s a brand new start
That might just work my way
No need to walk away
Don't want to live on life's replay

I just want to breathe again, learn to face the joy and pain
Discover how to laugh a little, cry a little, live a little more
I just wanna face the day, forget about the woes of yesterday
Maybe if I hope a little, try a little more
I’ll breathe again

Things will work out fine
If you can find the courage to look past the night
To see the break of dawn

I just want to breathe again, learn to face the joy and pain
Discover how to laugh a little, cry a little, live a little more
I just wanna face the day, forget about the woes of yesterday
Maybe if I hope a little, try a little more
I'll breathe again

I'll breathe again...

on FRIDAY... during lunch time it was the FIRST time seeing yongjie So SO SO so quiet.. lolx.. and took some of his video. lol

CAUGHT RED HANDED! (=x he biting his finger nails! ai o! must beat hand seh! lolx)

but yongjie didnt know we took him.. lolx. can see how 'peeping' are we huh?er.. i think its me la. lolx

this is taken by him when i showing val wat i have 'caught red handed of him'. lolx

thats all for now.. keke~ now kinda getting bored le. lolx

"Keeping Silence is Always the Toughest Job You can Ever Do,
At Times People Just Kept Silence Just to Protect the Other Party,
Avoiding Him/Her of Getting Hurt.

-----------------------------------------------------
5:18 PM

01*profile
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting